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Coherence & Congruence: Your Dynamic Duo!

If your final purpose in life is to experience a clearer, broader and more joyful existence, then you will agree with me that having a congruent and coherent mind is what you need to start embarking in a journey fulfilled with endless opportunities, with pretty much everything you were expecting from life in addition of having a grounded attitude to accept the present, savor it and use it as your starting point!

Through ancient cultures, from many different backgrounds, with many different inputs, if you have paid attention to the people that live a more complete experience of life, you should be able to notice that one of their big assets, is that learn to integrate their lessons and experiences to develop a much powerful narrative within themselves!

That only can happen, if you first start to be pointed in the right direction, which is something that will be given in your life either by the type of experiences that you have, or sadly sometimes by the most painful roads along your path, whatever it is the reason, or whatever ignites your consciousness, the purpose is to polish your road until you create your own healing streamline.

Throughout our lives, we are given plenty of opportunities, lessons, teachings, experiences, events, people that are present in our lives to allow us to see what we don't always want to see, to listen what we we also many times rejected, to learn things that we never thought were useful or took them for granted, to experience things that at the beginning might seem tedious, harsh or they present a rough entry point, to attend to some events that probably we would never go or choose by ourselves, to meet very interesting, wise and healthier people that are giving us a glimpse of a different kind of life, whether is some colleague from work, whether is someone you met in a place where you would never thought you could meet someone, whether is one of your relationship that is giving you probably a hard time not because it makes you suffer or treats you bad, but for all the lessons you're supposed to take and as you're not ready yet, you just keep rejecting them, as well as wearing out the interaction with your partner due to a childish behavior of not doing something that in your intuition you know it is best for you!

Many times in our lives we resist the change, we close our eyes, we stop listening to our inner voice and we are just shutting down or heart to every opportunity that we can have to shift our lanes and move to a higher frequency!

Is just so ironic how we arrive to a point in our lives where pieces start to fall into place, and that just happened so synchronistically and "randomly" apparently, because we did the one thing we fear the most, we allowed ourselves to change, to evolve, to raise our consciousness of things, we finally gave an open door to the light that wanted to enter in our lives long before, but we didn't want to open even a window!

Why if we are able to create that congruent and coherent path, we then choose to continue in the same place?

Well, in my humble opinion there are many reasons and perspectives where this phenomena can be seen.

One of the main ones, would be:

  • The environment where you grew up,

  • The social influence that you had,

  • The level of training that your parents or caregivers gave you and cultivate in you to overcome difficult times,

Let's take it one by one, although they seem to be in the same category.

Environment where you grew up.

We can't deny the powerful effect that the country, the traditions and the beliefs have on your psyche and they start filtering your inner thinking and neural pathway, even from the womb.

The emotional level transmitted from your parents to you has an influence in the emotional load that you're creating within! In the end emotions are vibrational energy that inside your physical body will start creating a profile of hormones, neurotransmitters that will either keep you calm or predisposed you to be triggered.

That is not a justification or excuse to say that you are not or were not able to change due to your parents or the poor childhood examples that you had. This, is just to illustrate that it has an influence, but it will depend on you to shift that energy into fuel to create congruence and coherence or to create evading excuses, to continue in your comfort zone of feeling powerless and the victim.

It is easier to see it from a standpoint of something real, let's take famous case of Viktor Frankl, in spite of growing up in a rough time, his background of being Jewish, which for that time was a "bad luck" label, due to the narrow mind of German military troops and of course their "leader" Hitler, took him to live one of the most horrific experiences witnessing the death of practically all his family, as well as the extermination of many more people.

I can't think a rougher environment than that, and even with those conditions, with that level of brutality, he managed to shift his perception into discovering why some inmates were able to survive and endure the physical and emotional pain that they were victims of.

Many of you know his famous book, ,"Man's Search for Meaning", where he concluded that the difference between the survivors and the ones that perish, was the meaning that they had attached to their lives, the pursue of something higher than all that was happening!

And this lesson, is the one that will also take you out of the victim mode and place you under the light of growth, enlightenment and will allow to see all the bridges, the doorways, the opportunities that you have to focus your attention on something positive, in the meaning and not in the pain.

Certainly, we all have experienced using excuses to stay were we are comfortable, or justify some unconscious behavior that we are stubbornly decided to maintain, instead of surrendering to let change flow. When doing that, if we now see the situation with detachment and being more an observer we can clearly identified that we deflected change, we shut the door to light, simply because we didn't want to see the meaning in the situation that required us to change! And we were placing our attention in the pain, discipline, hardship that it required!

Thus, the message here is straight and plain, if your environment is a burden, if you feel that many of the beliefs, examples or patterns are a heavy baggage, start getting rid of them, little by little, first being able to name them, it is easier if you write them down, and then start going one by one, replacing them with a more coherent message and narrative that you want to be surrounded with!.

The Social Influence you Had.

Your Social circle, is so important, once you start entering your world, once you start creating your friendships and relationships, is of paramount relevance the kind of people that we choose to keep closer to us, when we are younger we are more concerned with superficial values, in terms of popularity or belonging to a certain group of people, however we many times choose those friendships and social circle at the expense of also being surrounded with negative influences, a lower frequency of vibration, and several times being more exposed to dangerous situations or behaviors that can completely change the destination of our lives.

As adults, we should be completely aware and conscious that the circle of friendships that you have, and the kind of information that you let in your mind due to their influence, is going to predispose you either to grow or to become stagnant in your life. Additionally you can also be directed to take very poor choices and without noticing, pretty much wasting a lot of time, resources and many times pulling away from a healing journey just by the fact that you think you belong to a certain "class", "group", or "popular" gathering of people, when in fact those decisions not only will damage your present and future, but if you have children, that influence is for sure going to permeate your child's behaviors, beliefs and emotional load.

Therefore, we are required to clean our social influence, we need to make a pause and start mindfully being objective, in what kind of people are we going to allow to be around us, what kind of families we are also going to be in contact, and what is the level of vibration that we are going to choose! In order to do that we must be able to acquire a different kind of vibration ourselves, first as individuals and then as a family to start attracting a healthier kind of individuals.

Let's clarify, something here, it is not that we are rejecting someone or anyone by doing that, it is just choosing a different kind of influence in our lives, we are aware now of the level of damage that our social circle has, and it is as simply as choosing to eat healthier instead of keeping choosing the processed food.

That's why it is highlighted, that the moment that you start shifting your own energy, almost automatically, the social circle will start to unfold in front of you, in the end as everything in life, it all comes to inner change and inner ability to impact and expand your vibration.

Stop worrying about changing others, because each individual has its won rhythm, and set of lessons, that they themselves will be able to take in or not depending on the kind of life that they want for their present and future. When you also release that "responsibility" of changing others or trying to guide them to a healthier direction, you will first feel lighter, you will empower yourself and you'll be able to use that energy in your own journey.

After all, by shifting your energy, you'll be able to witness, a huge amount of synchronicities that will "suddenly" start to take place, and as you are paving your road, as you're opening new pathways, acquiring new networks, you will by default, be softening the road for others, you will start pointing the way to the ones that want to enter the same path! Without, of course meaning, that they will do it through the same door, there are plenty of doors to be able to use them, there are plenty of space, possibilities and resources for everyone to choose from.

The level of training that your parents allowed in you (resilience).

This major influence to integrate congruence and coherence, is so relevant, and many times it is not well understood, or is neglected by many parents, but it is also a big block of reflection, influence or inspiration that will allow children and your generations to overcome hardship, difficulties and rough paths.

Enabling our children since a young age to surpass their own obstacles, by encouraging them, by guiding, but very importantly by leaving them walk their own path is what will also produce a huge difference in the way they will start to discover, unfold or become creative with solutions that allow them to transcend their journey of hard things, of obstacles, of struggles that they need to face.

And that in the end, they are tailored made for them, they were specifically designed so that they develop talents, discover abilities and construct a strong reliable source of trust that gives them the opportunity in the future to renew their lessons, their resources and to build and endless pool of creative solutions.

Moreover, cultivating a sense of accountability, letting children or teenagers to face their complications will also prime their curiosity to walk unknown productive paths that will slowly and smoothly guide them to awaken a more mature doorway, that we as adults, should be able to trust that they will find their way themselves.

Therefore, that old belief of giving them everything, easing in excess their paths, is no longer a resourceful and helpful mindset, because instead of making their life easier, in the end you're just disabling them from curiosity, from self-esteem, from their confidence to succeed and find solutions.

That is why, it is called self-esteem, because it has to be created and ignited within you and by you, although of course there's a cooperation from us as parents, mostly their esteem is built by them.

The strength, the endurance, the adaptability that they need to develop, that they need to discover in order to construct a strong baseline, a reliable source will only be proportional to the level of accountability that you let them have with their lives.

It is our duty, to become just another light in their way, but not the hand that takes them through the door, it is time to return them to those behaviors that some of us learnt through the harsh way, but now applying them with love, compassion and more wisdom, as we know are able to have it available and easily accessible at the touch of a wise search of information.

Consolidating your congruence and coherence!

Wrapping up these practical explanation of why we take the easiest or hacked road instead of the healthier, enlightened path.

We are now able to discern, we have now more tools, information and resources to choose from and to start taking action, just beware of the still available choices that seem promising but have tricky small hidden warning signs that will take you faster and more comfortable to the goal that many times not even you chose! But you were directed by the wise artificial intelligence that is taking you to those digital sites with a myriad of easy solutions.

Ground yourself, allow peace and calm, reflect in your path, remember your lessons, see them with other eyes and witness the doors that were pointed in those moments because by doing that mindful exercise, most likely you will be able to recreate them in your life and manifest them in your current moment.

Visualize what is the level of congruence and coherence that you want, describe your future self and become committed to be him/her! He/She is just waiting for you to decide to start!

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