How many times have you felt sad, angry, happy, excited and suddenly something happens and cuts the emotion to be fully felt expressed and of course released. Our set of perceptions senses that came with most of us since birth allow us to have a perception of things.
When we are children our perception of things is unbiased, is fully connected to the divine, is fully engaged with the source of energy that allows us to witness everything with the proportion that we are supposed to see things, embrace nature with all the amazing characteristics that it has, be surprised with some technological things as if they were impossible to believe, be able to appreciate things in their full expression as well with the gratitude signature right in the surface of the skin even if children are not able or are not used to say the words you were thought to express the gratitude you can certainly be able to notice their gratitude through the expression of their face or as ironic as it sounds by the expression of their emotions without hesitation, without limits and without any kind of restrictions.
However as we live in a society that has learned to "behave", to adapt to certain rules and diplomatic "etiquette" situations we are constantly being literally trained to repress, to avoid or sometimes to deny the emotions that we are feeling, when in fact the expression of them is a healing, homeostatic process that allows your body to move the chemical substances to where they are needed, to cause the effect they are supposed to exert without harm.
Moreover when an emotion is not fully expressed and is repressed or partially avoided, our body has to look an alternative pathway for it, which many times is the accumulation and the "upgraded" threshold that we are constantly pushing our bodies to, pretty much this mechanism works as your feeding behaviors, the more you eat toxic and processed food, the more prone you become to cravings, anxiety and dependency to them.
That's exactly what happens with your emotions, the more you are predisposed to neglect, cut off or partially avoid feeling something, the more prone your body will be to build up your neurotransmitters and hormones allowing them to push the threshold to be triggered by some events which before were not significant enough to be triggered by.
If we were just properly educated and cultivated to feel the emotions as they are and probably finding a way to allow them flow more easily without hesitation, limits or sometimes explanations we would feel an enormous amount of peace, connection with our own inner self and as unbelievable as it may sound there would be an incredible connection inside of you that would be able to signal your body with the best of your arsenal of positive neurochemicals and hormones that would allow you to feel healthier, have a clear mind, and in fact all this positive loop would feed your creativity to find new paths, solutions, build resilience and stand before the struggles and challenges of life!.
We all are able to feel what we want, we all are able to release what we don't want.. the missing link between that sentence relies on the bad software that was installed when you were a child. Nonetheless, the good news now is that you can have a reboot and upgrade the software to your latest version. One that you can be able to impact, one that you can be able to design more and make it more malleable to your needs.
Emotional avoidance or suppression has been previously identified as an unhelpful coping response, which may maintain distress and could have other adverse consequences. Furthermore, it is thought to be counterproductive as it can increase the frequency of distressing thoughts, and thus reaffirms the state of mind the individual had hoped to avoid (1).
Cognitive behavioral approaches to the maintenance of distress suggest that coping responses such as emotional avoidance or suppression are influenced by people's beliefs about emotions (1).
For example, people may attempt to avoid or suppress negative emotions because they believe the experience of them to be unacceptable to themselves or others. There is evidence that unhealthy perfectionism is moderately correlated with beliefs about the unacceptability of negative emotions (1).
There is some indirect evidence consistent with this suggestion. Individuals with anorexia nervosa show perfectionist traits, as well as the belief that negative emotions are unacceptable (1).
As stated by research our emotions are a way for the body to release the stress, the impact and many of the perceptive earlier phases to be able to cope with everyday events in our lives, however due to society judgement, shame of being yourself and silly old patterns of conditioning we were instructed to sometimes repressed them or we were not educated on how to feel them in a way that produce a healthier effect inside ourselves and that avoids the tendency to spill all over our internal pathways which in fact will cause a very big mess in terms of all the "distractions" and outlets that they might have inside of us.
Some of the possible outlets that emotions find in their way to get be processed is related to sleep deprivation or recurrent bad patterns of sleep which sometimes include the famous phenomena of nightmares. Additionally our emotions that build up over time, will eventually find a way to distortion our energetic pathways to drain our energy during the day just as if we just performed one of our best exercise routines.
Nevertheless this energy drain is completely unhealthy for your body, obviously, and it is dangerously silent, for a person that lives its life in a survival mode, is very hard to notice that a body health issue comes from a behavior of neglecting the emotions, repressing the expression of many things and it is often associated to the last of the events.
However our bodies behave just like a pot full with steam pressure. The more you repress and build up your emotions, the sooner you'll have some physical effect and it might be disguised by something you ate or a "strange" change of your routinely habits, but that was not the main reason, as you can infer by now our emotional state is directly associated with our immune system as well, therefore the build up of your emotional chemicals together with the fact that your immune system is depressed was the perfect mixed to provoke a disease.
Your sleep as well as all your metabolic, immune, cognitive functions will start to be affected by this emotional burden if you don't realize quickly that you are wired in a toxic loop of suppressing your emotions and taking your body to a very high amount of chemical messengers that need and require and outlet.
All of our internal substances have a very specific function when they are in balance and of course that our bodies are designed to withstand some burden, some traffic, sort of saying, however any living organisms can resist the pressure of years accumulating toxic substances and it should be more careful the way we instruct our children to deal with those emotions, to allow outlets and to educating to be safe to express them is a healthy way.
What are the possible outlets that you can find for your emotions?
Well, here comes part of all, there are plenty of ways to achieve that emotional release and nowadays we have a lot more access to plenty of tools, information and even programs to help us achieve an emotional deeper cleanse.
Let's first start with exercise which as many of people hate it just by reading about it, it is one of the best tools to cope with emotions although it might not have "anything" to do with it for some skeptical people.
When we allow our bodies to release the tension by doing exercise, to engage in a physical activity, we are practically moving all the residual "toxic" (because they were accumulated) neurotransmitters and hormones we allow a process to oxidize them, to rearrange them into more powerful substances that our bodies are now able to use and we practically tag them to be directed to where they belong or to be disassembled and use the parts that they are composed of, in plenty of other functions that our body might need.
Second, we can also try a more spiritual way to process the emotions which is meditation, as esoteric as it may sound for some people this tool, allows your mind to clear space, to identify more specifically what were feeling and also be able to perceive the things more productively to be able to identify a solution that at the beginning we didn't even see as an option because all the emotional burden completely constipated our cognitive processes.
By allowing your mind to engage in a meditative process you will also be able to get in touch with your inner self and create a connection with your heart, allowing you to build a synchronic process that will generate a powerful team between your heart and your brain and helping you to process those chemicals, move them as well and more importantly in this case seeing a better picture of what really happen in your life. Getting in touch with your empathy, being able to be kinder with yourself and with the people involved and having the ability to develop compassion for the events, people or struggles that you might be facing.
Third, you can use a more "intellectual" or "cognitive" tool which is journaling. This tool will allow you to build as well a more compelling story of what really happened, be able to place yourself as a third party and witness the circumstances as an observer and not as the ego driven desire to blame, to be victimized or to avoid being responsible for the things that actually happened in your life.
As many of you might agree, often times, when we suffer any emotional triggered experience, our brains are designed to defend and create a defense mechanism for the perceived threat, however many times is not even a real threat, in fact we're just dealing with the fact that not all things and not all desires that we have, have to fulfilled or be designed as tailored made as you would want, therefore those emotional issues might be able to be amplified by your primitive brain that most of the times will look for the scenario were you're the victim and everything or everyone else is against you.
Moreover, this kind of tool will allow you to be able to assign each time a more coherent time and intensity for the emotions that you might be feeling, which is similar to the effect of meditation, the only difference here is that you're adding a physical component to the awareness of the things, which is the handwriting exercise, which in fact has been proven as a very powerful distressful aid for you to cope with almost any kind of emotional hardship.
All of the manifestations of the emotional load and unavailability to process them is directly related to physical manifestations which is pretty well known as psychosomatic manifestations or illnesses.
The more familiar we become with the fact that our emotional states are of paramount importance and that processing the emotions is a huge part of our internal and overall health, the easier it will be to assign a different treatment to pretty much all of the diseases that you might think of.. Which actually has already been published a lot of information from different perspectives several times by emotional experts such Louise Hay, Byron Katie, Melodie Beattie, etc. to name a few.
And now this realm of the emotional health is being a trend to access a more powerful outlook for our lives in all the umbrella of professional development, productivity, financial wellness, nutritional health and many other aspects of your life, in case that by this point you're still in denial of many of your feelings or in case that you're still skeptical about many of these tendencies to treat physical illness.
Of course for some particular traumas or really specific diseases there's still the possibility that you might need a chemical drug substance to help your system to get back on track ...but not for a long time and not to deal with an emotional issue that you let build up and create a stronger reaction just because you were not willing to accept the fact that you were really feeling something or not because you were self immersed in other activities trying to pretend to be strong or to give a good "appearance" to others while in fact you were feeling pretty bad inside.
It's never a sign of strength to neglect, to dismiss or to stand any kind of emotional pain, that is just in fact a dumb, old fashion idea from times were external appearance was more important than your internal wellbeing.
Today there's no excuse, there's no avoidance, there's no shortcut to deal with your emotional issues and if you are still doing it and you think that you got away with it ...just wait and unfortunately sooner rather than later you'll get the physical consequence.
So don't be unconscious with your own mental and physical health, overspending in many other areas of your life, and being greedy or skeptical to treat your emotional hardship, traumas and pain that you might be keeping inside.
Pretty soon, I dare to say, almost all of the health practices will direct more attention and resources to instruct people on how to deal better with their emotions, on how to educate them to channel them, to pay the right amount of attention, to pay the right amount of money to treat all the issues that they have, to have more awareness to what are they feeling if not being able to isolate of course the other factors that you have to keep doing in your life at least you'll be able to find a space, a pathway, a coaching program to deal with them.
In summary, we all at some point struggle with emotional issues and they are part of our lives every day, there are not negative emotions, all of them have a purpose, all of them have to be perceived as what they are and we can find them the right destination and purpose, the more patience, the more kindness, and the more compassion we have with how we feel, the easier it will be to find your truth for them, to forgive, to release, to allocate the right amount of your resources to find your way out of the pain and to find joy for your life, as we all know everything happens for a reason, for a certain period of time, for a certain lesson to be learned and to allow you to know yourself better, to allow you to expand your healing tools and connect again with your true divine self which is right at your fingertips.
Moreover many times, the circumstantial emotional hardships were the messages that you needed to feel, hear and pay more attention to access your true potential and embark in a path were some skills, some abilities, some resources are going to appear within you and will stay for the rest of your journey in this physical dimension.
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1. Tran, L., & Rimes, K. A. (2017). Unhealthy perfectionism, negative beliefs about emotions, emotional suppression, and depression in students: A meditational analysis. Personality and Individual Differences, 110, 144-147.
2. Ortega D. “How to Regulate your Own Emotions”. https://www.gen-es.mx/bloggenesmx. September 13th, 2019.