Another year has begun, we are in the big wave of creating those expected new goals, trying to keep the promise of sustaining the "good" behaviors, but it just seems hard by thinking about them! You want to do everything again, but what are you really willing to do so that they don't stay as wishes?
As Einstein repeated several times, doing the same things and expecting different results is just crazy! Therefore, there's to be a new way to assure that this time it will work!
Well, turns out that it is not that hard, and it has more with finding a peaceful, confident and "relaxed" attitude towards them! There's no point to frustrate already for something that has not happened yet! There's no reason to listen to that primitive voice saying you won't be able to achieve them or you will fail another year!
Let's better go deep in the what, why's and how's to this year obtain a different result!
Turns out that this four letter question what? is key to give you clarity and to add some emotion to what you really want.
That would be the first thing to do, questioning yourself in three to five things that you really want, and let me be clear here, you should be bold and aggressive in these statements in addition to add some creativity, because if you just say "I want to loose some weight this year" that's completely boring and random, why not instead say "I want to be in my best weight since I had 20 years old" "I want to fall in love with me again" "I want to look in the mirror and feel proud". I'm guessing those phrases motivate you more to do the things, don't overwhelm, we're just beginning let's take the best out of these phrases! I hope that you get the idea that this time is more a long term and a vision than just a simple goal, this year is more about visualizing that person that you want to see by the end of the year!
Clarity and a vision is what will sustain the goal through the struggles, through the tough times, because you're human and you'll have those too along your journey! but if you add to that vision some contingency measures then you'll be ready, so write down some of the possible scenarios that in the past made you become disappointed! Just write two to three of them and leave them as contingencies.
Second key question is why? and these are the reasons that will sustain your journey, these are the anchors when the weather gets heavy and you need to make a pause or take a detour, or simply allow yourself to unwind, recharge and carry on! If you can add at least five reasons to each of the big goals that you listed that will be enough to give you motivation and energy to recharge and take a deep breath to keep moving forward. When you write these reasons, add a key word so that you can use that key word in your phone as a reminder to focus and maintain connection to the goal! That strategy will work as a partial reward that you're still on track and you're maintaining the vision, even if external conditions seem to get complicated, even if the doubters are already giving you a hard time, is not about them, is about your dreams and your vision which doesn't even require an explanation to any of them!
Pay attention to these reasons, as they should be supported by the fact that you want that goal or project and don't allow yourself to be discouraged if you realize that you didn't want that, you are in perfect time to change or take out something from your year vision! You will also have to be conscious that in this stage there will be plenty of emotional charge in terms of the how, let the how for after because right now is about the why! Just focus in this moment, in these reasons and believe that your emotions will be a lot more positive and charged if you allow yourself to deeply extract them, because I can bet that many of the reasons will be linked to something that you've always wanted and you haven't give yourself permission to do it, well this is the year to do it and to feel you deserve it! Convince yourself with a long term result, not with the immediate reward, and if you start feeling anxious, because you want a reward then write down three to five things that you're already enjoying due to your discipline and momentum that you have had!
Now, we're building up traction to generate and stimulate our creativity with the how's, so this is the third step where you enlist 5 key steps that you need to achieve each of the big goals, if you have more than 5 don't worry just try not to overwhelm yourself with those steps!
Also be mindful and clear that you'll need dates and follow up measures here in order to be able to maintain the direction of your boat! Think of these follow up clues as when you're running or swimming and you need those signals that point you in the direction of the race. Therefore you can also be creative in the way you work better to have those pointers and become realistic and grounded that some of these signals will need to be flashy, and if able, make them fun! I'm just trying to think out loud here, but let's say that you want to publish a book that becomes a best seller, then one of these follow up signals can be a picture of window bookstore where you want to see your book! and the contingency measure when the tough time comes could be going to that bookstore sit inside, play some quiet or meditative music and visualize the bookshelf where you can see your title and even people taking your book and paying for it at the counter!
Another important asset to achieve your How's is how you want to eliminate the noisy voice of your primitive region of your brain that will be giving you hard time in terms of creating fake scenarios as well as little programmed beliefs to demotivate you or prove that you won't be able to achieve. Thus, if you're ready for that nagging voice and avoid entering a toxic loop that can break your momentum and literally lead you to a dark side to repeat the story of previous year! Let's build up an antidote for those messages that will probably come and of course not in the best time! They're very opportunistic and they will try to beat you down and take you out of your rails.
However, you can be prepared with a set of questions that disarm these kind of messages and allow you to continue in the right track, in addition to connect you even more with your vision and gain a lot of traction. If you start questioning these beliefs and voices with simple questions such as: Where does it comes this belief? Who said that to me? or just Why you even think that can happen? then that will completely disarm the emotional load of the belief, statement or fake scenario.
Moreover, if you allow yourself to go deep in your why? and the reasons that you previously drafted then you'll be able to find out again your motivation, generate momentum and just let the toxic beliefs or negative voice to dial down until it is no longer perceived by you!
All of these strategies, are designed so that you can do things in a different way, more mindful, less based on what other people want or the traditional way to design goals, but allowing yourself to be motivate by them, emotionally engaged and not just overwhelm with the end result which is what usually happens with almost everyone and that's why the same results keeps showing up!
So, this year let's don't fall in the noise, in the marketing messages on how to draft perfect goals and how to achieve a dreamy year!
Let's design a year based on our own dreams, vision and long term benefits that is what many of us will rely on during the next years!
Therefore this is not a sprint, this is more like preparing for a marathon that will fill your life with satisfaction, but you're also not in a rush to arrive, you're peacefully, mindfully and responsibly constructing blocks to sustain the vision, to maintain the pace, even if some people pass you by, you're not going to be rushed by them, you have your clear direction and you have your dates!
In addition to all these steps, key questions and ideas that will build your plan for this year, remind yourself to design also moments of reflection, breaks, connection write down goals that have to do with your relationships, with your character and the way you also want to enjoy more your life.
Design rituals that connect you to the present moment, that allow you to recover your energy instead of just being busy and keep draining! Remember that this is a marathon, so you will need to refuel yourself, hydrate again, eat something to replenish your reserves and most of all create those "reflection moments" in your calendar in order to breathe, meditate, and feel alive with your vision and your design!
What is the science behind this sustainable model?
We are creatures of habits, though we are beings that more than ever are conditioned to immediate rewards. With the digital culture and technology advancements more and more we become addicted to think that immediate rewards are valuable and needed to feel joy, happiness or have a sense of belonging to certain group of people!
Therefore we're more prone to disengage from things that require an effort, that won't have such immediate results, and that we have cheated to make us think that we won't have rewards!
However, this model can and will be sustainable for you if you dedicate time to build it thoroughly thinking in the kind of person you want to become which of course will be something that is not going to be achieved tomorrow or probably by the end of the year.
But guess what, that vision, that long term you is someone that you will be proud, that for sure will be a lot healthier than any kind of shortcut or "magical" solution any other media stream offers you. Why? Simply because it will be built in your dreams, in your values, in your core emotions and will be sustained and cared with your reasons.
Additionally it will be a model that will allow deviations, that will be designed to overcome those moments of frustration, desperation or anxiety.
Moreover you will be able to connect with it from your higher power of consciousness, not for a superficial need to show off your achieved results, not for the immediate reward of a "liked" picture, post or a life crafted to be uploaded in social media and produce a reaction!
It will be more intimate, personal and grounded in an adult version of a vision that once and for all will be maintained.
Your foundations will be so strong that not even a hurricane will be able to destroy it or torn it down.
By having a strong emotional connection with you, by crafting it like your masterpiece, by allowing to have contingencies, breaks and detours you will also be able to enter a much conscious stage of your life that will make you feel peaceful, wiser and also not attached to an immediate result.
Therefore you'll be more connected with your day by day, with your small rituals and steps that little by little are building your masterpiece and your reward will be the joy that will come from each moment that you do something towards your goal, that you add one more brick to your foundations!
In summary, you're now facing a new era in your life where you can become the owner of the habits and stop placing the responsibility of your life in goals that where ingrained in you or that you just left yourself be taken by the trends or the new shiny wave that doesn't even fit in your character or personality. You won't be creating goals to show off, to post more selfies, to impress your social followers! You'll be creating goals from your heart, from your coherent higher self and connected deeply with your dreams and ambitions!